Looking After Mates
So far we have looked at some of the key facts about mental health and alcohol. Now it’s time to apply that knowledge. This section of the lesson is all about looking after mates and practicing good communication to get through difficult moments and conversations.
What do you think?
Check and see if your best guesses and gut feelings are accurate! These statistics, quotes, and facts might surprise you, but they’re a great insight into the people around you who might need a helping hand.
Keeping Friends Safe
In this video, you’ll be hearing from Ainsley, a researcher at the University of Sydney. She along with many other experts have put together some important information about how you can keep yourself and your mates safe when alcohol or other drugs are around.
Tricky Conversations
A lot of the time supporting a friend is truly about listening. By becoming an active listener, your mate is more likely to trust you and be open to getting further help and support if they need to. You may want to tell them about your own experience of going through a tough time to show them that you understand. This is a very thoughtful idea, but sometimes a friend just wants to be able to talk about their own experience and know that you are listening to them.
Do
Let them know you are there for them
Pick a private time and place to talk to them with no distractions
Use open questions - “how are you feeling today?”
Acknowledge their feelings - “you said you have been feeling sad, that must be really hard”
Be non-judgmental if they share things that are hard to hear, or you don’t understand
Reflect back to them what they have told you - “you just told me you’ve been really stressed out and feeling like this a lot”
Let them share as much or as little as they want to, as talking can time, trust and courage
Let them correct you if you didn’t quite understand at first
Use open body language - maintain eye contact, uncrossed arms
Don’t
Use closed questions - “you’re not ok, are you?”
Dismiss their feelings - “you just need to stop worrying so much”
Use closed body language - crossed arms, looking away
Jump in with solutions straight away - “so I think you need to start playing sport again”
Feel like you have to fill a silence. A little silence is often needed for the person to open up and speak about what is going on for them
Thinking really hard about your response while they are talking
Most people will be glad you asked them if they want to talk and often say they experience a sense of relief in talking to someone else about something that has been bothering them. It’s important to remember that you are giving your friend the option to talk, but that by trying help them you are not responsible for their wellbeing or their personal counsellor. There are ways you can help but sometimes change takes time and the reasons why they are feeling a certain way might be complicated.
Test your memory!
In this quiz you’ll be revising the skills you learned about in this section of the lesson, as well as a few key facts from the previous section. Try your best to remember, but you’ll also be able to review this information again in the Mind your Mate app.
Optional Class Activity: Practice Active Listening
After watching this video, two volunteers will pretend to be Taylor and his friend. You’ll practice having a respectful, caring conversation about mental health, using the skills from the “Do’s” list of active listening.
As a class, discuss how the conversation went, and what the benefits are of the Active Listening techniques.